You gotta have heart.
One of the potential side effects with some chemotherapy medications is their impact on the heart, and while thankfully, there are many preventive and complimentary medications that can be given should any issues arise, it is standard procedure to have your heart checked through an electrocardiogram (ultrasound multi-dimensional view) every four months.
I am on a chemotherapy treatment that requires routine heart imaging and earlier this year, I went in for one of my routine imaging. Thankfully, my heart has consistently been healthy and continues to show great results, so it’s become for me and my heart, who I affectionally call “Heart” somewhat of a standard, “everything is good” procedure. It is also a technique I use to keep my mind and spirit in a positive place.
My test results are usually posted within less than twenty-four hours of the exam and our doctors feel it best to post them directly on the patient portal before their previewing so that we as patients don’t have to wait. This step was incorporated into their protocols based on patient feedback. I too am one of those patients that prefers to know right away and then speak with my doctor.
And so, on an early April day, I logged in to the patient portal because I received an alert that my latest test results had posted.
Because, as you know, I like to channel my inner llama and use humor for navigating stressful situations, I envisioned “Heart” just sitting on my right shoulder reading the test results along with me...readers-on, nodding in approval as we read the initial lines of the report indicating the markers were in-range.
And then..........we read the words “LEFT VENTRICLE SEVERELY DILATED”.
So, we went back to the start of that sentence and read again “LEFT VENTRICLE SEVERELY DILATED”.
In that instant, in my mind, I heard a sudden thud hitting the ground and glasses clanking. It was “Heart” who’d fallen off my shoulder and lost his glasses in the process. Scrambling, along with my racing thoughts as to what those words meant after consecutive favorable results and markers!
“It can’t be! What does this mean?”
And so, we took a deep breath, exhaled, and typed up a quick message to the cardiologist to inquire as to what this meant and what would be our next steps.
The next few hours were a bit of a blur.
“Heart” pounding in my chest from time to time. Thankfully, each time I was able to breathe and calm down.
And THEN, the next morning, a phone call from my doctor’s office; ”Yes, good morning, we’re calling to let you know that the doctor has reviewed your test, and everything is normal.”
Once again, BAM, sudden thud hitting the ground and glasses clanking...“Heart” who’d fallen off my shoulder and lost his glasses in the process.
Scrambling, along with my racing thoughts as to what those words meant!
I stammered, “but what about the words “LEFT VENTRICLE SEVERELY DIALATED?!”
To which she replied, “Hmm, we don’t see that here...let me look...Oh, yes, (chuckle), I see now what happened, the report that was first posted was retracted because there was a field clicked in error...that sometimes happens...we’re really sorry about that!”
I could have literally hyperventilated right there.
But once again, and I think it may have been the visual of my “Heart”, the genuineness in the nurse’s voice, and my inner Consuellama looking at the bright and funny aspects of an otherwise difficult journey, that made me laugh. And the nurse laughed with me, and I could hear her breathe a sigh of relief for ME and for “Heart”! And that collective laughing made me feel better and very appreciative of that moment.
And so, I hope, if you have laughed with this story, that you too feel a bit better! Because sometimes that’s all you can do...just laugh!
About Consuellama
Consuellama was inspired by llamas being hardy and well suited to harsh environments — they are quite sure-footed, easily navigating rocky terrain. It made me think that it is absolutely synonymous to navigating the “terrain” on the cancer journey. But beyond that, it is also the fact that you can’t look at the face of a llama and not smile!
